• 14 years old. Born to surf and ride horses. Australia, SA. Trying to get a job. Before you judge me, read what happened down below, that left a whole in my heart.

    My mother died when i was four, the day before my 5th birthday.

    I think about her all the time, and i get upset over her alot as well.

    She had breast cancer. After a year or so of treatment, it finally went away. After a while, my mother and father asked the doctors if it was safe to have another child, they said they could.

    While my mother was pregnet, she started getting back pains, and she thought it was just because she was carrying a baby.

    Turns out the breast cancer had come back, spread to her spine then to her brain. She went into hospital....and never came out.

    She went through a extremly tough battle, and went through so much pain.

    The doctors had to take my baby sister out 3 months early. No one thought she'd survive, but she was a fighter.

    In the last week of my mothers life, she got really sick and went into a coma.

    It was the day before my birthday, and i was at my new primary school having a visit. I was getting a drink from the fountain and i saw my aunty walk past. She had her head down and seemed unhappy. I ran up to her, all excited because i was starting school. That excitment left me when she took me, my brother and sister to the hospital. My mother had died.

    I dont remember anything good about her, just all the sad things, like her being sick and her funeral.

    I hated the funeral, It was so sad. And i cried so hard when they took her away in the car. Back then, i didnt know where they were taking her, and i got told they were taking her to a nice place where she will be peaceful.

    Now i'm 14, and it was only this year that it truely hit me about my mum. I think about her all the time, probably too much. I always wonder what she was like. I always ask questions like 'Is Heaven real?.' Because you have no idea how much i want to see her.

    I've tried to commit before. Because i wanted to be with her so bad. Unless you have been through loosing your mum, you will have no idea how much pain you go through.

    I wish she was here right now, because i love her so much, and because then i would be living at home and my dad wouldnt be so upset and grumpy all the time.

    It makes me cry everytime i realize what pain she went through.

    I will never get over what happened, never. Death isnt something you can get over. The pain will always be in you, no matter what.

    My mother was beautiful. She was kind to everyone, tried to make peace in the family but her father and mother in law never accepted her properly. She wasnt good enough for their son. But she was. She was the best mum and wife you could ever have.


    It isnt fair that i had to grow up without a mum, and it isnt fair that someone, who was only in her thirty's had her life taken from her. She didnt even get to have grand children.

    And now i have to live the rest of my life without a mum.

    Life's a bitch, but i do know that my mother would want me to be happy and have the best life that i could possibly have. I love her so much, and miss her like no one could believe.

    R.I.P mum, gone but not forgotten. You will remain forever in my heart. //
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